men jokes

1. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

2. A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."

3. A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

woman joke

1. When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.

2. After his divorce Mr. James realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.

3. A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. the woman replied, snorting pepper.

animal jokes

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..." The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store. His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?""No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

medicle jokes

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?""What did he say? What's he want?"His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders."I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "But I guess it is impossible.""I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months.""You must tell me what you did.""I went to a faith healer.""But I've tried that. My husband and Iwent to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."

joke

A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punch line that will end the sentence to make it humorous. The word joke can also be used as a slang term for a person or thing which is not taken seriously by others in general or is known as being a failure. Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. A joke can also be a single phrase or statement that employs sarcasm. The desired response is generally lau. A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken one in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).